To make it possible for everyone to attend church, some witty pastor put this in the church newsletter:

    This Sunday, we are going to have a special "No Excuse Sunday"

    Cots will be placed in the foyer for those who say, "Sunday is my only day to sleep in."

    There will be a special section with lounge chairs for those who feel that our pews are too hard.

    Eye drops will be available for those with tired eyes from watching TV late Saturday night.

    We will have steel helmets for those who say, "The roof would cave in if I ever came to church."

    Blankets will be furnished for those who think the church is too cold, and fans for those who say it is too hot.

    Scorecards will be available for those who wish to list the hypocrites present.

    Relatives and friends will be in attendance for those who can't go to church.

A few chef for those who say they have to cook dinner first.       

We will distribute "Stamp Out Stewardship" buttons for those that feel the church is always asking for money.

    One section will be devoted to trees and grass for those who like to seek God in nature.

    Doctors and nurses will be in attendance for those who plan to be sick on Sunday.

    The sanctuary will be decorated with both Christmas poinsettias and Easter lilies for those who never have seen the church without them.     

Nannies for the kids.

We will provide hearing aids for those who can't hear the preacher and cotton balls for those who think he's too loud.

Also we will install an escalator for those that can`t seem to make the steps.

chartered buses for those that can`t drive or need transportation.     

Hope to see you there!

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